Are we in a fight?

Your hair is so thick.

I can't stop smiling!

Am I hungry?

Have you seen that new YouTube video? http://youtu.be/u-yLGIH7W9Y

So excited for tomorrow!

He's impossible to shop for.

Your necklace is backwards.

Typical.

That's so inappropriate.

I have the best boyfriend.

I'm so pale.

I hope I'm not getting sick.

Rude.

The thing is, I shouldn't have to ask.

I'm shaking.

These are so addicting.

You know what? That's not okay.

I feel like I'm in the way.

I bet you were a really cute kid.

I wish I was mad.

I don't snore, do I?

I have so many stories for you.

First of all, ew.

Hold still, you have an eyelash.

This year is just flying by.

Just a sliver.

Get there safe!

Dark chocolate is really good for you.

Feel my hands.

Did you miss me?

Three more sleeps!

Dance party in the car!

Did you get my text?

I'm really good with faces.

I'm terrible with names.

I'll have a glass of prosecco.

I die.

I can't get warm.

Just realized its Wednesday

Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead.

I'm just mentally exhausted.

Let's be honest.

True story.

You know when you're so tired you can't sleep?

11/11/11 11:11 make a wish!

11/11/11 Make a wish!

Twinsies!

Lindsay, Matt's girlfriend, or Lindsay from yoga?

I think it's funny that she thinks she can go around saying those things about me and I won't find out about it.

You just set feminism back 50 years.

I have the hiccups.

I want to start an all-girl band.

I think I need braces.

Your teeth are so straight.

That's actually kinda nice.

Are you busy tonight?

I'm debating what I should have for lunch.

I'm just kind of in a weird mood today.

I can't believe it's almost November…

Why would you even say something like that?

It's such a beautiful day, you should get out and enjoy it.

Be nice.

Can someone give me Photoshop lessons?

Don't care, don't care, don't care.

We should grab a tea some time.

Just thinking out loud.

Do you mind?

Thank u so much for all of the sweet birthday wishes! Love you! Xo

Delete that.

Hot apple cider makes me so happy

Why am I so hyper?

Thanks for all the birthday wishes, I feel so loved!

Okay now read mine.

Pretty sure I've said 90% of the things on this list.

I need to get out of the city for a bit.

My phone's being stupid.

She's not even that pretty.

You're embarrassing yourself.

I'm so gullible.

Like, who does that?

How is mercury not retrograde right now?

I'm so much stronger than i thought.

It smells like bleach in here.

Guess how much this cost.

Why would I lie to you?

I'm not drinking tonight.

Vodka soda splash of cranberry.

I can't sleep in anymore, I feel like I've missed the whole day.

Put me down!

I wish I could hate him.

I can't believe it's October already.

Wow, just wow.

What do I want to eat?

You're hilarious.

God I love Adele!

Wait, you're joking right?

Can I put this in your pocket?

Do you guys sell boxes?

I feel like cameras should just follow us around.

I can't believe you're leaving!

I honestly don't know how to feel about that.

So, that happened.

I'm such a good gift-giver.

Is Mercury in Retrograde?

I'm loving this cool weather.

I just have to vent.

I mean, get it together, right?

What should I be for Halloween?

My mom is one of my best friends.

I'm half excited and half scared.

My teeth feel gross.

Today is just not my day.

No, you're the best!

I want to start taking piano lessons.

Yes, I like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain!

I think I’m gonna start my own business.

I could really use a hug.

So, what are we then?

I need someone to organize my life for me.

I mean i don't care, i just think it's funny.

Did I see that with you?

Why is this happenning?

We should have a theme party.

Time for a change.

Tell me a story.

I used to play volleyball in high school.

My stomach's been bugging me again lately.

I think I might be anemic.

Carry me.

Fine.

I like a guy to smell like a guy, you know?

But you already know that about yourself, so.

I love wine

I can't, I have to get stuff done today.

Do you still keep in touch with anyone from high school?

Thank God I don't have to work today.

I'm not even joking right now.

Was I super annoying last night?

Hey, where are you?

I just don't like the way it tastes.

I'm sorry, do I know you?

why are you laughing?

Schooch over so I can sit by you.

Are you so excited?

Don't let the blond hair fool ya!

I just realized I haven't eaten yet today.

I'm kind of obsessed.

Ugh, you're a lifesaver.

Excuse me?

I hate when people are fake nice

Um, no.

How long have you guys been open?

Feel this.

I don't really know what else to say to you right now.

That's so random.

Ooo, is that a mojito?

I feel kinda nauseous.

I feel really spacey today.

You're such a spaz!

My friend thinks you're hot.

She's so judgmental.

I hate cilantro w a passion!

Are you near a computer?

I woke up feeling really inspired today.

That sounds like something Michelle would say.

Have you seen my passport?

Gay guys love me.

I can get us free drinks.

You should come!

Do you want some cherries?

Could you watch my stuff?

That's not okay.

That's okay.

I'm at that age where all of my friends are getting married.

I can't believe it'sust already.

Well this is the first I'm hearing about it.

I'm not here to make friends.

I keep thinking today's Tuesday.

I twisted my ankle.

Right, like that's ever gonna happen.

Promise me you won't say anything?

I love my family so much.

Can you imagine?

That breaks my heart.

Would you mind driving?

She has the best laugh.

Ready for a change in my life.

I need some new friends.

how am I so drunk?

I think I was born in the wrong decade.

I need to stand up for a bit.

I need to have an early night.

I don't sound like that, do I?

How did I even get home last night?

You're such a freak!

Ugh, never mind.

Your hair is getting so long. #shitgirlssay

I dropped my phone in the toilet, text me your numbers.

People either really love cilantro or really hate cilantro.

I hate surprises.

I love surprises.

Danielle and Danielle are coming over.

When are strawberries in season?

I've never won anything before.

I'm so sick of my clothes.

What are you trying to prove?

Shut the front door!

We have the same birthday!

I need to find a new doctor.

What's my password?

Pay attention to me!

Yada yada yada.

Is that hummus?

Could you not do that, please?

Have you tried that new gum?

Smell this candle.

I brought popcorn.

I can't decide whether she's pretty or not

You won't believe what happened today.

I go by my middle name now.

I think I have mono.

His loss.

I have a really strong handshake.

Everyone is mad at her right now.

I thought you left.

I would never say that about her.

I miss my bed.

It smells like boys in here.

This link isn't working.

I love getting real mail.

I need to have a good cry.

I’m just trying to stay in the moment.

I'm hyperventilating.

Which one’s for the TV?

Come with me!

I'm not your fucking maid.

I was mortified.

Do I look like a doily?

That's just mean.

Really makes you think.

I asked you a question.

I am never drinking again.

I can't believe I ate all that.

Why does this always happen to me?

I'm so tired of lotion

Don't be sorry.

Good for her.

My hair smells like smoke.

I need to drink more water.

Does this taste funny to you?

I keep stubbing my toe.

Will you be my date?

Do you have a blender?

I’m freaking out right now.

Did I get any color today?

Let's do shots!

Big penises kind of scare me.

I really hate it that you guys don’t get along.

I'm not going if you're not going.

I’m so over it.

What time are you getting there?

Can you read this and see if it makes sense?

So much drama at work today.

Why am I not surprised?

Did I lock the door?

I’m not like, super hungry.

Grow up.

They have the best calamari.

Can we trade seats?

Who's calling me?

That is such a lie.

I can't even.

I was a total tomboy.

You guys walk so fast.

I love her to death, but…

At least I’m pretty

I like that. What is it?

What should I blog about?

Listen to this email.

Just thinking about it stresses me out.

I used to think you hated me.

I feel like I’ve grown so much.

I hate that I love this.

You don't need to get so defensive about it.

Are you ignoring me?

Pass me my phone?

I need to start writing again.

Anyway, how was your day?

I don’t know why I get so worked up about things.

I’m never having children.

One more thing and then I'll shut up.

It's freezing in here.

Are you kidding me?

We look fucking hot!

Story of my life.

When are we gonna hang out?

When's your birthday?

I stood up too fast.

I got up at like six this morning.

What should I drink tonight?

Why does my elbow hurt?

I think his phone's off.

You dropped your umbrella.

I looked everywhere.

What did you bring me?

So good, right?

They're such a good-looking family.

I don't know what I'm doing with my life.

It's my friend's birthday can I request a song?

I just ate the best orange! @shitgirlssay

You should make that your profile picture.

I'm just like, I dunno.

Most of my friends are guys.

Was that supposed to be a joke?

Get these chips away from me.

I love this wrapping paper.

Oh my god, I know.

How did this get here?

I don't sound like that, do I?

Who are you talking to?

We should all go to Mexico next winter, no boyfriends allowed.

I don't even like beer.

I want a gay friend to go shopping with.

Do you want some of these strawberries?

Can I buy a cigarette off you?

I feel so short around you guys.

That's such good news.

Aren't you going to wish me Happy Birthday?

Can you throw this away for me?

Don't get mad!

You're sitting on my hair.

I feel like I recognize her.

I'm such a dork.

Are you going to the kitchen?

I'm over romance.

I hate this mirror.

You're my new favorite person.

Do you have a tank top I could borrow?

Your grandparents are so cute.

Whose shoes are these?

She can be a bit much.

Call me when you get home.

Clip your toenails.

I need to get my license.

Is this my water?

I can't whistle.

Promise you won't get mad?

I feel bad for her family.

Will you take our picture?

I love McDonald's fries.

Is it gross if I order Swiss Chalet?

Why is my computer going so slow?

When's your break?

I really want to go back to India.

You look tired.

Crackers, ginger ale, and some magazines.

Should I get bangs?

I can't stop crying.

I want a fascinator.

Honestly, though.

You must think I'm crazy.

That tickles.

That's not what I asked.

Shut up, mom!

I want a photo booth at my wedding.

I only smoke when I drink.

Sorry, am I totally boring you?

Are you even listening to me?

That poor dog needs water.

Have you been avoiding me?

Oh my god you scared me!

I hate trying pants on.

Should I get a Twitter?

I feel like we never talk anymore.

I'm super competitive.

Are these cherry blossoms?

Are you making fun of me?

Can you braid my hair?

I just have to get through the next couple days.

I’m so excited for fall.

Does this taste funny to you?

Do you guys want to split something?

I think I need braces.

Who should I vote for?

is it garbage day?

You’re gonna make me pee my pants.

We should have a picnic.

I need new rubber boots.

You're just mad cause you know I'm right.

Today of all days.

Can you call my phone?

I’m turning into my mom.

Can you keep a secret?

Don’t tell anybody but Kelly’s cheating on Mark with Sarah’s friend’s brother.

Do you have a bobby pin?

Life is about the journey. @TheOnion

I love myself.

I'm not talking to her right now.

Do you have anything with chocolate?

Did you just hear something?

I feel like ice cream.

I love your top.

I'm having a shower if anyone calls.

What day is it

You can't just randomly show up at my house.

Do you like my new slippers?

Can you help me post something on Craigslist?

My cheeks hurt from smiling.

I'm super sick.

I don't normally do this.

Who sings this song?

Do you have any Advil?

Is that lip balm?

I'm so stressed out.

Do you think my boyfriend's gay?

Purifying rainstorm. Going out to feel it.

Just try it!

What does your tattoo mean?

The craziest thing happened to me today.

Come visit me at work today.

I think I'm gonna get this.

Does my hair look greasy?

That cabbie was so nice.

Where are you from?

We're all girls, we'll fit.

Can you take five of us?

Have you been outside yet today?

I'm so bloated

I'm dizzy.

Did you just feel that?

What kind of juice is that?

Come by my shop!

Fuck it, I'm not going.

Fuck it, I'm going out.

I was joking.

If she has something to say she should say it to my face.

Just don't let it get to you.

I cleaned the fridge.

Is this tap water?

Who's all there?

I wanted to cry.

I feel like I’m gonna pass out.

Romantic love was invented to manipulate women.

You were in my dream last night.

What should I text back?

Ice cream makes me cough.

I just can’t deal right now.

Can you drive me to the airport?

I'm having a panic attack.

Did you just call me?

Can you hold my jacket?

Is your internet working?

Did any mail come for me today?

K I'm going to bed.

Just forget it.

I need some new books to read.

Can I tell you something?

Can I ask you something?

Come dance with me!

I feel like I haven't seen you in ages.

That shit is so bad for you.

That's not what I said.

What's that smell?

Do you know anyone who does websites?

Ew.

Could you turn it up a bit?

Could you turn it down a bit?

What's Denise's sister's friend's name again?

Hey did I miss anything?

She's so insecure.

She's such an amazing woman.

I had such a good sleep.

I think I left my keys in the door.

Buying some wine at trader joes. gray day.

Who do you remind me of?

You guys!

Do you want the rest of this?

I think I might be a celiac.

Can you move over?

I hate this ad.

I can't stop yawning.

How do I change my ringtone?

Do you have a calculator?

Love you!

What's in this?

I forget my password.

I miss your mom.

This is my song!

Do you like these plates that I got?

I like that jacket.

He gives me the creeps.

What time are we supposed to be there?

Nothing, it's fine.

I need to take a personal year.

Could you open the window a little bit?

Can you shut the door?

I can't come in today.

I think I left the stove on.

I think I'm gonna take a nap.

What's your return policy?

I kind of like this one…I dunno.

I bought too much lettuce, help yourself.

Can I pay debit?

Have you seen my purse?

What time is it?

I'll pay you back.

Could you do me a huge favor?

Do you have a sweater I could borrow?

What are you doing tonight?

My feet hurt.

Does this taste funny to you?

What's your dog's name?

Save me a seat.

Shit! I forgot my scarf at yoga.

I think I'm gonna take a class.

I'm having some friends over.

Do you have a dollar?

What's the address here?

What are you watching?

I kind of want a hot dog.

How do you work this?

Have you seen my phone?

Girls night!

Are you at home?

Is it cold outside?

I dunno, what are you having?

Do you want to split a cookie? They're really good here.

Could this day get any worse?

Do you have an elastic I could borrow?

Sorry it took me so long! I ran into Wendy from yoga and her sister had a miscarriage!

All my stuff is in my other purse.

Ooooh, is that a coffee? I might get one!

Could you pass me that blanket?